Tough Love
by jeweleethegeek
Summary: Story picks up during season three as the group goes in to Woodbury to rescue Glenn and Maggie from the Governor. However, they pick up another prisoner of Woodbury, Viera. She is a looter who fears friendships after her losses. She stays on the move, robbing communities for supplies. She finds herself liking the prison group too much, especially one man in particular: Daryl Dixon.
1. Chapter 1

I never thought I would reach a breaking point. I always had something to fuel me, to keep me going. Even when my mom died I got through it because I just knew that I had to. Back then it didn't matter how much pain I was in or how tired I was or how depressed I felt, I kept going fucking no matter what. There was a purpose to keep going back then though, someone I was responsible for: my little brother. I would've done anything for him. But when the time for him to go did come, all I did was nothing.

Once my brother was gone I felt a curtain of darkness consume me. For a while I teetered on the line between giving up and seeing how much I could take. But the second I laid eyes on the Governor I think I tumbled head over heels towards giving up.

I held out against the abuse I was put through in Woodbury for as long as I could. I spent weeks shivering in the small shit room he kept me in. The damn Governor used to come in everyday. I became trained to hear his heavy footsteps entering my room. The moment he came in I could anticipate what he intended to do with me that day. Sometimes he just got his anger out on me through beatings. Other times he liked to grope me or make me take off my clothes, letting himself run his slimy hands over every fucking part of me. The day he did more than just run his hands over me was the day I felt myself become drained of my worth. I felt like I was nothing.

I prayed for the end. I wanted more than anything to be taken away from under the control of the Governor, no matter how my freedom would come about. He had broken me, as much as I hate to admit it. But, I had been through hell and hell changes you. It changes who you are and who you would've been. I would never be the girl I once was. I was torn apart from the inside out. I didn't trust anyone anymore; he made me the cold hearted bitch I am today.

I felt like a pitiful animal, huddled up in the empty room, holding onto myself as if that could protect me. My body shook and muscles spasmed from time to time. Blood was starting to crust over and dry onto my lip from my nose. However, the last beating I had taken was not from the Governor. He had ordered his henchman, Merle, to try and get information about that fucking prison from me. The thing was, I didn't have any.

The Governor always suspected that I knew more than I let on. I was a damn snake, that was for sure, and I knew everything about Woodbury before they even knew about me. It made sense that he would assume I know about his rivals at the prison too, but I hadn't gotten to them yet. Woodbury had enough valuable things for me to take at the time.

That's what I do. I stop by communities that people have built up and I scope out everything about them. I learn the ins and outs; I memorize everything about the place from the faces of the people to the sewage systems underground to the amount of provisions they have. When I find an opportunity, I strike. I come in secretly and take what I need to survive. However, I never take more than I need or too much so that they won't pull through from the loss. I pat myself on the back for that. It's nice of me to be thinking of others. It made me feel like I wasn't a total asshole.

I went on thousands of looting missions and had never been caught before, or if I had I was always able to slip away or talk myself out of any real trouble. I was sly as a fox back then. But the day I hit Woodbury, the precious Governor was supposed to be out. I had everything planned perfectly. He was to go out at sunrise with his men to inspect the pits they kept of Walkers. He had a schedule to keep to and he always did, but not that day.

I should've accounted for his whore. I never should've let it slip up. But he stayed in with her passed time to go on his run. He was still in Woodbury and I had no idea. When he found me in the pantry I was too in shock. I tried to shake the bewilderment that he was there. He looked pissed, but he locked away his angry demeanor and quickly talked to me like I was a wild horse that he was trying to tame. The thing is that I was too stubborn to be tamed.

I attacked him with the only weapon I had, a small knife. He knocked it from me after I put up a hell of a fight. I was proud that his nose was gushing blood by the time he had me restrained. His buddies came in after hearing our ruckus and I was knocked out cold. I must've been captive in Woodbury for weeks. I barely had anything to eat anymore. My muscles, which were at one time toned and impressive, were weakening.

The Governor hadn't come to me in a few days. Merle would come in and give me a small tray of molded food, but that was it. He used to stay and talk with me sometimes, just to get some stuff off of his chest. He would talk about his little brother and how they got separated a while back. I felt bad for him at first, but when he came in one day and told me how his brother was seen in the area, I ridiculed him endlessly for being too big of a coward to go after him. Merle liked his happy little life in Woodbury; he had it all here. So when I called him out for his bullshit he got mad and eventually our little chats came to an end. I wasn't surprised, slightly disappointed, but not surprised. I could almost be content with life when Merle would sit around with me and talk about how much his life has sucked. Even if I did hate his guts, anything was better than being stuck alone with my own thoughts to haunt me.

I held the thin shirt I had to me. My pants and shoes had holes worn into them. My hair was so tatted and dirty that I probably looked like a wild animal at a glance. I hadn't cleaned off in a month probably, maybe more.

I was sniffling in the corner, waiting for it all to end, when I heard the gunshots. They were close. Too close. There had to be a fight in Woodbury. My mind immediately thought of the group at the prison that the Governor was so desperate to get information about. They were here, attacking. Everything in me hoped they would put an end to the Governor, but another part of me hoped they didn't. I wanted to kill him for myself.

Multiple shouts echoed outside of my door followed by a spray of gunshots. I flinched before ducking my head down between my legs and hunkering with my hands over my head for protection as dust and pieces of the cheap room I was in rained down on me.

I thought about calling out to them, thinking they might help me, but I couldn't bring myself to do it. I couldn't trust them, even if these people were against the Governor, they might come in and treat me worse than he has. I couldn't risk facing another person like the Governor, or someone who might be worse. I hated myself for being afraid and I hated the Governor for making me think this way now. He made me an untrustworthy monster and I hated the power he had over me, how he had snuffed out any fire in me, how he had caged my soul and thrown away the key.

Just then the door of my room was kicked open with a terrifying force. My heart hammered in my chest. I shook in the corner, staring at the ground and not at whoever was entering, afraid of what I might see. I heard the movement and clicks of their weapons. I knew what was probably going to happen, I just wanted it to happen already. I was ready to go. I couldn't fight anymore. I was done and ready to join those I left behind. I was ready to join my family again.

"Another one of his hostages." The gruff voice was full of disappointment and had a long southern drawl to it.

I still refused to look at the people who were in front of me, but I could feel that there were only two of them present. The figures inspected be from behind their weapons.

"Where's Maggie and Glenn?"

"Do you know where they keep any other prisoners?"

I didn't answer. I didn't _know_ the answers. _Just shoot me. Please shoot me. _

One of them grabbed my shoulders roughly, attempting to shake me from my vacant state. I looked up into his face for the first time. He wasn't like the Governor, I could tell instantly. He didn't fake anything like the Governor does. He wore no mask of who he really was. He wasn't a bad person, though his actions would say otherwise. He wanted answers; he was eager to find his people. His soft eyes pleaded with me almost, as if they could will the answers from me.

I opened my mouth, but no words came out, only strangled sounds of my dry throat. I shook my head to get the message across that I had no idea where his friends were.

A look of grief and anger washed over him. He released my arms and stormed away, back towards the other man in the room.

"We jus' gonna leave 'er?" The other man asked, his crossbow still pointed at me cautiously.

The first guy stopped in the doorway and ran a hand over his curled hair, thinking about what my fate should be. "Bring her. She might know a few things about this place. Anything can help."

My stomach lurched at the command. They only wanted me for information just like the Governor did and I was willing to bet they would take the same actions against me to get it. I was being used one after the other. I would've cried if I had any tears left in me.

The guy with the crossbow looked at me through his scope. _Shoot me. _

His fingers twitched around the trigger that would release the arrow into my skull. _Kill me._

He lowered the weapon slightly and looked at me with an understanding. I felt the pull of his gaze like a magnet. I couldn't stop myself from looking him in the face. His squinted blue eyes bore into me as I silently pleaded for him to save me from this shit-show. I didn't want to walk out of Woodbury, I wanted to be put out of my misery right here and now. He could tell what I was asking for. I was miserable and he_ knew_ that. That's why my heart broke when he grumbled for me to get up.

My brain screamed to sit still. But my legs found the strength to work and I was following him out of the door in seconds. I wanted to sit in my room, refuse to go, then maybe he would've killed me, but I was not risking staying around to chat with the Governor in the aftermath. I had to choose what I thought was the lesser of two evils.

The stranger with the crossbow led me out into the smoke and chaos that now filled the hall. The first man I spoke to was running for the exit with an injured guy hanging from his shoulder. A young girl followed quickly behind them. Looks like they found their friends, Glenn and Maggie.

I followed after them into the streets, having no other choice. We rushed inside a building where Glenn was dropped to the ground. Each breath he took looked to put him in pain. He didn't have a shirt on, and he held his arm cradled against him. Not to mention the blood that covered injuries on his swollen and badly bruised face. I knew who did this to him without a second thought, and Glenn confirmed it too.

"Daryl," he breathed out in pain as his little girlfriend Maggie wrapped a shirt onto him. "This was Merle."

The guy with the crossbow–Daryl–looked at him in almost disbelief.

"He threw a Walker at me. He was going to execute us," Glenn continued, his face a scrunched up picture of agony.

"My brother's the Governor?" Daryl growled out and took a few aggressive steps closer, visibly hungry for more information.

My eyes widened at the statement. Brother. This was Merle's brother that he had talked so much about? Are you fucking kidding me? I almost couldn't believe it. The thought actually almost made me laugh. Merle was a douchebag through and through, but this guy didn't seem too bad at all. Sure he gave off the usual strong headed vibe like Merle, but he wasn't the creep that checked out every pair of tits that passed him. And when he first looked at me in that room, I felt a sense of calmness. The only thing I felt towards Merle was disgust, and occasionally a bitter hatred.

"He's not the Governor," I offered, my voice a croaking mess from not being used in so long, and they all turned to me, making me shift uncomfortably. It was the first time I had spoken in days and I barely recognized my own voice as I did. "Merle's his right hand man. The Governor's an even worse piece of shit then him, believe it or not."

Daryl seemed torn as he paced around, his mind whirling with mixed thoughts and emotions. "Does he know I'm with this group still?"

"He does now," Maggie said, the venom dripping from her words. Looks like she hated Merle almost as much as I did.

"Rick, we told him where the prison was. We couldn't hold out." Glenn's face twisted with pain again.

"Don't be sorry," Rick said and got up to glance out the windows, his eyes flicking around wildly, surveying the area. "Can you walk?"

Glenn nodded as he was helped to his feet by Maggie.

Daryl swallowed hard and stepped towards the door, ready to take off into the streets again. "If Merle is 'ere I need to see 'em." The eagerness in his voice was unmistakable. My heart lurched out for him. I knew that if the brothers' positions were switched, Merle would be sprinting out of here without a second thought for Daryl.

Rick put a hand on the door to stop Daryl from leaving without thinking clearly. "We need to get out. We are in hostile territory."

"Maybe I can talk to 'em. Work somethin' out."

I shook my head. There was no way Merle loved Daryl like he claimed to if he stayed back in Woodbury all this time _knowing_ his brother was a few miles out in the prison. I felt obligated to tell Daryl that, to help him out and make him realize that Merle was not who he wanted him to be. Daryl was the first person to look at me like I wasn't scum on the bottom of their shoes. When he found me, his gaze might've been filled with sympathy for me, but now our positions were switched. My heart broke at the sight of him distraught over his brother, someone he loved so much, when Merle would never feel the same.

Good thing was that I didn't have to be the one to talk him out of it. Rick did the job for me. "You're not thinking straight. They are _hurt_ and we need to get them back. If we run into Walkers or if the Governor catches up to us? I _need_ you. Are you with me?"

It was strange how much Rick looked to care about Daryl. He was the kind of brother that Daryl deserved, not Merle. I hoped he could see that. I don't know why I cared so much about people I didn't know. Maybe I was feeling that my own brother could have, or should have, found someone better than me? If my brother found someone like Rick to take care of him maybe he would still be alive.

Daryl gnawed on his bottom lip with hesitation. I could see him debating in his mind what his next move would be. He glanced at the floor and back up at Rick. I stood behind Rick's shoulder silently. When his eyes flicked over to mine it was almost as if he were reading my mind again. It was a mistake to go after Merle right now and we all knew that. I was relieved to hear him mumble an agreement to Rick as he looked back down at the ground.

Rick nodded back at him and turned to me sharply, pressing a bowie knife in my hand with a cold look of warning to stay in line. I stared back at him blankly, not letting him read my emotions. Daryl tossed out a smoke bomb and the streets of Woodbury became a sight of chaos and gunfire in the matter of seconds.

People were dropping dead from gunshots that looked to have come out of nowhere. The rush of being out in a fight and danger again coursed through my veins. With each breath I felt a part of me returning; it gave me hope. I felt almost okay again. Maybe the Governor hadn't shattered me completely.

Despite how weak my muscles felt from the amount of time I sat dormant in a cell, I was overtaken with an urge to get revenge. My skin flushed with the anger I felt towards the Governor and, even though I didn't know everyone in Woodbury, I hated them all too. Walkers were flashing across my sight of vision in the clear patches in the smoke. I stood still and watched it all happening around me, drinking in the screams of the falling.

A Walker spotted me from within the smoke and he was slowly coming for me. My sweating fingertips felt around the handle of my knife. Part of me wanted to let the Walker eat me, but I was too stubborn to go down this easy anymore. I refused to be taken down by a Walker. I stared it in the face, daring it to come closer. It did, inching towards me and snapping its teeth in my direction.

It was close enough for me to reach out and touch it when its head exploded all over me. I didn't even flinch as the blood and rotting insides of the creature coated the front of me and the blood ran down my face from my hair. My eyes focused on who was behind the Walker that had killed it. I was shocked to see Rick, who had been so harsh to me earlier, had gone out of his way to save me, not that I needed saving. He held out a colt python in which were his means of killing the Walker. He had a crazed look in his eyes. His head tilted ever so slightly and I found myself looking away from him and for Daryl to save me from his mad friend. However, the archer was nowhere to be seen in the midst of chaos.

"Rick!" Glenn yelled from on top of a truck just before he jumped down to the other side of the wall.

Rick turned his attention away from me for only a second so he could respond to them. Soon enough he was glower at me again. The look he gave me told me this was not someone I wanted to mess with. His crazed eyes were message enough that he would do anything to protect the ones he loved. I understood that. There was a time when I had the same look and feelings as he did. That was a long time ago, back when I still had people to care for and vice versa.

"We have to go. You're coming with us."

Everything about him made me want to run, but I found myself nodding at him. He said before he would need me if I could tell him all I knew about Woodbury. If I could help take Woodbury down I would, even if it meant working with a fucking maniac.

* * *

**Please let me know what you think. Sorry this is probably sucky but oh well I needed to write. This going to be a slow burn story so give it time to get started really. This was a slow start but it will get better so just stick with me. Leave some feedback and reviews please! **

**Thank you!**


	2. Chapter 2

"What's your name?" Rick said, his voice a low rasp.

We were outside of Woodbury now, but we were not leaving quite yet. Daryl had gone out to cover us as we made a break for our exit. We were home free, only to find out that Daryl hadn't come out with us. Maggie immediately stated that we needed to go back in after him, but Rick was fumbling around in his own head for a plan at the moment. Glenn was in no shape to go back into Woodbury to fight. So, it looked like Maggie and Rick were going to be needing me.

"Veira," I said as sternly as I could manage these days, which wasn't very impressive.

"We are going back in there," Rick explained. "You come with us. If you so much as think about running off, I'll kill you."

"Sounds like a good choice to me," I crooned with a sly look.

Death was exactly what I had wanted for days, but I wasn't ready to go now. The Governor might have killed what good was left in me, but he hadn't killed me. I had things left to offer the world, and I would only die once I decided I had nothing left. I was in control of me again. Nothing was going to change that. Not Rick. Not Daryl. Not the Governor.

Rick took my answer with consideration. He felt he had to persuade me to help them. Good.

"After you help us get Daryl back we will take you to our camp. Have our doctor look you over." He motioned to the bruises that covered my arms and the cuts that I could feel on my face. "After you're fed and taken care of you can help us deal with the Governor. I'm sure you know plenty about him after your prison sentence with him."

"What makes you think I want to help you fight the Governor?"

Maggie spoke up impatiently. "You've been a prisoner to him for how long now? And you mean to tell us you don't want a chance to put a bullet in his head?"

I stayed silent for a while and searched her eyes as she spoke. "What did he do to you?" I choked out, knowing the answer deep down. I knew she was the Governor's prisoner, but she didn't looked harmed in any way like Glenn did. My stomach seized at the thought of him coming onto someone else like he did me.

"Nothing I'm sure he didn't do to you," Maggie responded, the hurt visible in her eyes.

I clenched my jaw and swallowed hard. I could run away. I could run and never look back on Woodbury. I could leave and not give two shits about the Governor or the prison anymore. But, deep down I knew I couldn't really do that. The Governor needed to be put down. He needed to be stopped before he hurt anyone else like he did me. Like I assumed he did Maggie.

Besides, I guess I owed the archer for sparing me. Daryl. The face of the man with the crossbow flashed into mind again. I could still see him after he found me in the room in Woodbury. I replayed the moment over and over again in my head. He was the first person to spare me. Even Rick was an asshole upon first meeting me. Daryl might've looked a little sorry for me even, but he was someone who was just like me. He was a survivor. And he had a certain understanding about me that no one had since my brother...

"Michonne?" Maggie's voice cut through my thoughts. She aimed her gun at a dark skinned girl who had just crawled out into view.

"Did you get what you came for?" Rick hissed as he took away the only weapon she had, a sword.

She looked drained. Her breaths were short and quick and all the cuts on her oozed out thick blood onto her face and arms. She leaned against the old train car that she had emerged from under. Her leg was gushing an unhealthy amount of blood from a deep stab wound.

I focused in on her as she argued back and forth with Rick. She had come here with them to save Glenn and Maggie, but apparently split off from the mission. There was something about her... a determination for whatever she had gone after inside of Woodbury. She split off from the group for something so important to her. No. _Someone_.

"You went after him," I said knowingly. Her eyes flicked to mine as she analyzed me as well, a new face to her, but she stayed silent. "You went after the Governor," I pressed.

Rick shifted back on his foot and looked at her accusingly.

"I got you here," she countered. "To save them."

"Thanks for the help," Rick curtly stated.

"You'll need help to get them back to the prison or to go back in there for Daryl. Either way," Michonne finished, "you need me."

"Me too," I spoke up, declaring that I was on board with them. All eyes were on me. I gnawed at my lip as I coninued. "I know everything there is to know about this place. And I happen to know that if they captured Daryl, he is about to face off in the arena. They did that with me on my first night."

Rick rolled his neck and looked at me taking his usual terrifying stare off of Michonne for a moment. "Arena?"

"They had me in there with some other poor kid they captured. A fight to the death. You know, gladiator battle type of thing."

"That's sick," Maggie said with her gun still pointed at Michonne steadily.

"Well, they think it's fun."

"So, you agreeing to help us now?"

I shrugged, not wanting to have to explain myself to this stranger, but I felt that she understood why I was ready to march into battle again. I needed to end the Governor and getting back their man would help us in the long run. Plus, I owed Daryl for getting me out of Woodbury, and I didn't like owing anyone. I would get him out even if it meant going back into the devil's den.

"Fine," Rick said. "So, how are we doing this?"

Everyone leaned in, eager to here a rescue plan. They were all willing to follow me, someone they just met, in order to get back a friend. We were all willing to do anything if it meant the Governor wouldn't like it, as a matter of fact.

It looked like the Governor was pissing off all of the wrong people these days.

* * *

My legs ached from being in a crouching position for too long. I was back inside the gates of Woodbury, trying not to panic at being back, with Rick and Maggie behind me. Glenn had complained, but we made him stay behind with Michonne and wait for us to return.

I sat back against the building we were using as cover. The streets of Woodbury were deserted. Everyone was getting ready for the battle at the arena. The arena was encircled by three towering buildings. The memory of my first night at Woodbury hit me hard. I could remember my rival in the arena that night. We were both scared shitless and confused. When the Governor told us to fight to the death, the girl I was to fight looked like she was going to piss herself. She was unwilling to do what it took to survive. But not me. I was full of spirit and ready to fight every man and woman in Woodbury if it meant I could get a chance to escape. I had just lost my brother. After that event I said fuck everyone else and become a selfish monster. I was then and I still am. So, I took my chance with the terrified girl. I was going to live no matter what it took. And it took the life of another innocent human.

I turned my head to the ground in shame. Then the gunshot of commencement and yells of the people rung through the air, bringing me out of my episode of depression.

The fight was beginning.

I dashed around the corner and caught sight of the arena through the crowd of people. The orange glow of fire lit up the area casting shadows of the crowd onto the tall buildings in a haunting manner. The Governor was yelling out some bullshit speech that I couldn't hear well over the cheers of the people. That's when I caught sight of Daryl. The crowd went wild when they tore the bag off of his head, revealing him as one of the men from the group at the prison.

"I see him," I let Rick know behind me. "Maggie, get back to the top of the gate. Give us cover once we get to him. Rick, you should stay here. Wait for my signal."

"You know me!" I heard the voice of Merle before I saw him in the arena with Daryl.

Rick squinted over at the arena like he couldn't believe what he was hearing. "Is that Merle?"

I didn't know how much this group knew about Merle, but so far I could tell they knew enough to always talk about him with a disgusted tone.

"Looks like Merle is his rival for today." I saw enough through the crowd to see that Merle was not holding back. He swung hard at Daryl and brought him to the ground, out of my line of sight.

I felt my eyes widen in the surprise. I had seen enough of Merle for a lifetime, and I knew him well by now. Images of him snarling and spitting in my face flashed before my eyes. He was a monster most of the time, but I always thought back to the moments when Merle was not all brutal with me.

When he came into my room to talk, it was almost pleasant. No one else in Woodbury listened to him, the high tempered redneck, when he was feeling sorry for himself. I had no choice but to listen to him, considering I was a prisoner. The thing that always seemed to haunt him was his little brother. He had been separated from him and I could see how it nagged at him, knowing that he had no idea if he was out there or not. I tried to make him feel like a piece of shit about the situation, it was all that I could ever use against Merle considering my position back then.

He had plans to run away and look for his brother, but he always chickened out. He was too cozy at Woodbury being the Governor's right hand man. It was too good for him to leave behind. He was a coward, and I told him that everyday. I wanted him to be a better person, but I should've known better. I clenched my jaw at the current sight of him beating the shit out of the little brother he claimed to love so much.

"Bastard," I snarled and tighten my grip on my knife so my knuckles turned white. "He'll beat him to death. Because that's what the Governor wants him to do." And he always listens to that prick. No matter what.

"Yeah, I know." Rick checked the scope on his gun and turned back to me. "Get out there and look for an opening. We won't fire until you make the move."

I nodded, confirming the plan and mentally preparing myself for the mission I had sent myself on. "Got it."

"Get him out alive," Rick's eyes looked into my soul when he spoke to me. It was like he was willing me to be successful in getting Daryl back. As if he could control that.

"Got it," I repeated slightly uncomfortable. I knew his archer man was top priority, even over me.

"And be careful." He looked like he actually meant that. Which was surprising for me. No one had cared about me in a long ass time, but it felt nice that he warned me to be safe, even if he didn't mean it.

I turned to go but he grabbed my wrist before I could. I tensed up, afraid of what he was going to say or do. I was even more surprised when he pressed a small gun into my hand.

I looked up at him questioningly and he simply nodded saying, "Just in case."

This time he let me go out away from the building and into the crowd. Even though I should be worried about being recognized, my mind was preocupied with why Rick was trusting me so much. After spending too much time with the Governor, it just didn't make any sense. I needed his trust if we were going to work together in killing the Governor. Just because I trusted him though, didn't mean we had to be friends. I really didn't want to get close enough to care about any of these people. I was just helping them wit a job. That was it.

The crowd around me erupted with a fresh wave of intense screaming. I pushed around bodies to the front of the crowd just in time to see Merle standing over Daryl. They were talking with each other, but I couldn't make out their words. However, the look in Merle's eyes told me he had something up his sleeve. I glanced over at the Governor who was sporting a new bandage over his eye, but he was too distracted to notice Merle's planning.

I turned to follow the Governor's line of sight to see four men bring out Walkers on leashes. This wasn't part of the fight when I was shoved in the arena long ago, they must've gotten bored with the blantant murdering of people.

The adrenaline coursed through my veins. I hadn't enjoyed that feeling in a very long time and I was pleasuring every second of the anticipation of a battle. I couldn't hold myself back any longer as I leaped out into the arena. I raised up the gun Rick had lent me and fired at the Walker that stood directly in front of the Governor. The Walker fell and his one eyed glare landed on me, unwavering. I held his cold stare with an amount of brute that I didn't think I had in me anymore.

The crowd took notice to my identity, they had seen me as a champion of the arena before. They thought it was all part of the show. And the Governor didn't intervene to tell them any different. He stood like a statue as if he could kill me with his stern look. But I wasn't going down that easy anymore.

"Well, well, look who decided to join the party," crooned Merle, who was standing back to back with his brother now, ready to fight the Walkers with him as they were pushed closer to them. Daryl had his hands up, ready to pounce. His eyes landed on me with recognition and a million silent questions. I gave him one solid nod that I was here for him and tossed him the gun. A knife was more of my weapon of choice.

Merle looked ready to argue with his brother for the gun, but the shout from Rick from his hiding spot signaled for a spray of gunfire. I dropped to the ground as Maggie fired from the wall. Smoke filled the area and gunfire and shouts echoed in my ears. People were dropping dead everywhere around me. I gripped my knife tight in my hands as I pressed down on the sand and prayed I wouldn't get shot.

Just as I was about to stand again someone kicked my hand that held the knife. It went flying out of my reach and another kick was delivered to my stomach. I groaned and curled in on myself. My injuries that were beginning to heal from Merle's beatings were being freshened up as a boot came down hard on my chest. I looked up just in time to see the Governor's face as he reached down for me.

My mind seized with terror at the thought of what he would do to me if he got me back. I wanted to cry out of failure, but the fire in me sparked. I was not about to let him fuck me over again. Not ever. He didn't own me and didn't control me. At least that is what I was trying to convince myself.

I kicked him between the legs and the pain was enough for him to loosen his grip on my shirt. I saw this as an opportunity to stretch out for the knife that was resting in the dirt. As soon as my fingers closed around the handle, I didn't hesitate to swing the blade at him ferociously. Every part of me wanted to slice him to pieces. He took out his gun to fight back, but an explosion went off, sending us both flat to the ground.

My head buzzed and I didn't even process that someone was pulling me back up. Thinking it was the Governor again, I pulled my fist back at a lame attempt to swing at him. I almost collapsed out of loss when a hand caught my fist before it got the chance to collide with anything at all. It took me a few disbelieving blinks to realize it wasn't the Governor that was holding me upright, but Daryl Dixon. His eyes told me clear as day that if I tried to swing at him again he would put me back down on my ass. I took the silent threat with grace and let him half drag me out of the gates of Woodbury.

I remember seeing flashes of Rick firing his weapon from behind us and yelling, but his voice was muffled to my ears. My vision was a blur and Daryl had to help me walk up until we were well in the woods and out of Woodbury. The entire walk to the car where Glenn and Michonne waited was a painful one. Every muscle in my body ached and blood dripped down from my eyebrow every now and again. My lungs burned more and more with every breath.

We reached the car parked by the road just as the sun was rising. Glenn appeared from behind it, his eye immediately landing on Maggie. I thought it might be some repulsing yet adorable scene from a romance movie before Glenn started screaming at someone. My mind was still a scattered mess, watching Rick hold out an arm and keep Glenn back from whoever he was yelling at.

I turned slowly to see who the center of the commotion was. I should've known this jackass was what was standing in the way of a peaceful ride back to the prison. _Of course_ Merle Dixon had to make it out of Woodbury with us.

* * *

**Hey everyone thank you so much for reading. If you could give me feedback that would be great! I am trying to make this as good as it can be but it my first TWD fic so I don't know how I'm doing. Please let me know how you like it and leave a ****review. This is going to be slow burn and it might go out of order or just skip over some of the timelined events of the actual show. I'm just trying to make it more interesting and stuff.**

**Thanks again!**


	3. Chapter 3

Merle Dixon was running his mouth like usual. Spit flung from his mouth as he yelled at Maggie about coming back to the prison with us all. Glenn and Maggie obviously did not want him around them or their family after what he did to them. I didn't blame them a bit. He had done some cruel things to me too, but nothing compared to what the Governor did.

When I met Merle eyes for the first time since I was a prisoner at Woodbury, my skin crawled. I was overcome with the memories of what he had done to me. Of what he let the Governor do to me.

"Well I'll be damned," Merle said, peering at me from over Rick's shoulder. "You're alive."

It seemed as if he hadn't noticed my presence until now either. I stumbled forward, my legs gaining strength with every step. "Don't sound so disappointed."

I noticed Daryl shift on his feet and groan at Merle in warning. Daryl wanted his brother to be able to come back to the prison with us, but by the looks of it that wasn't going to work out. And Daryl knew that messing with me right now wasn't going to help his case. I was a high strung pissed off motherfucker. No one should've been messing with me right now.

"You let her in the group and we are still questioning _me_?" Merle looked at Rick and threw his hands in my direction. "That right there is some fucked up _bullshit_."

"We were bringing her because she knew Woodbury," Daryl supplied, trying his best to keep Merle at bay, with no luck.

"She got us to you two. She's proving to be helpful," Rick supported, but still looked skeptical of me.

Merle whistled and huffed out a strangled laugh that came from deep in his throat. "That's one poisonous snake you let into your nest, Sheriff." Merle smirked as he looked me up and down. I guess it had been a while since he got to do that and he was taking his time with soaking me in.

"You even know her that well, Merle?" Daryl glanced at me a few times, looking somewhat uneasy.

"Governor made me look after her."

"Look after me? He made you beat the shit out of me," I said, pushing by Rick so I was face to face with Merle. That was probably a bad move judging by Merle's playful smile. I shook against the urge to slap it right off of his fucking face.

"All that was just business. Trust me, I've done worse, sweetheart." He leaned back against a tree and rolled his eyes at my unhappy demeanor.

"Keep rolling your eyes. Maybe you'll find a brain back there."

Merle snickered, pleased with the reactions he was getting from me.

"You're a coward," I breathed out.

"Maybe. But it all worked out in the end. Found my brother."

I scoffed and crossed my arms over my chest. The blood pounded in my ears. "The _Governor_ found him. You didn't find shit. I knew you would never go look for him on your own. You were too happy with the Governor in his perfect little shit-hole to risk looking him." I pointed my finger at Daryl and kept my eyes on Merle's snarl. "If you had cared about him you would've gone to look for him long before the Governor tossed you together in an arena. He just turned you into a monster too," I yelled out, my voice raising with every word.

"I did what I had to do!" He pushed away from the tree and shouted in my face. His breath snaked its way into my nostrils, making me grimace.

"This is a bunch of bullshit," Daryl stepped in between us, trying to get us to stand down. "Me and my brother are none of your God damn business."

"Then why did he feel the need to tell me all about you two?" He looked a little startled. "Tell me, Daryl, how many times has Merle abandoned you? Huh?"

Daryl was smoldering down at me. He knew Merle must have told me about all the times he left his brother alone back before the world went to shit. I figured Merle told me just about everything about the two of them. His look was dangerous as he tried to shut me up with his squinted glare. His breath blew back the loose strands of hair that hung in my face. I felt my cheeks flush, but I didn't waver from his look until Merle opened his fucking mouth again.

"And where the hell is _your_ brother?" Merle shouted from behind Daryl. He knew what he was doing by saying this. I told him about my younger sibling back when he was pitying himself over his own. My brother was a touchy subject and Merle knew that.

Everyone around us must've sensed the mistake Merle made and the tension that was being added to the area by the second. Glenn and Maggie had stopped putting in their two cents over top of our yelling and for a brief time everyone was silent.

Daryl noticed my fists clench at my sides and my twitch forward towards Merle to knock his lights out. Daryl was too fast to let me by him, though. He immediately squared his shoulders around to block me from Merle completely. Rick had moved to Merle's side in a second to keep him under control if need be. Everyone else stood at attention, waiting for the calm before the storm to end.

"Take it back," I warned Merle through clenched teeth.

Merle laughed harshly from behind Daryl's shoulder before saying, "Or else what? What are you gonna do to me? Huh? You gonna leave me for dead just like you left your little brother?"

My vision was nothing but a sheet of red. My blood boiled over with the rage I felt, something that I thought the Governor had beat out of me. But my spirit and temper were there still, like they had never left.

I wanted nothing more than to rip Merle apart for using something like this against me. I lunged upward and towards Merle in an attempt to reach him from over Daryl. It was a lame attempt I realized after I was caught around the waist by the muscular arm of Daryl. I was disappointed that I didn't even get to put a scratch on him.

The others exploded into chaos that was set off by my lash out. Maggie had her gun out and was shouting at us to keep it down. Michonne stood by with her sword out, the only silent member of the party, and Rick was yelling as he helped Glenn push back Merle who was shouting at me and taking slow forceful steps in my direction, which only made me go even crazier. Daryl held me off the ground still as I continued to thrash around in his hold in a hopeless effort to get free.

"Calm the fuck down," Daryl growled at me over the other shouts and tossed me harshly on my ass.

I ignored the pain that shot through my already damaged body as I hit the dirt hard. But I shot straight back up on my feet, getting right in his face, even though he looked down at me in an intimidating way. "He doesn't give a fuck about you, you know." I used one hand to shove his chest, which didn't affect him at all, while I was trying to ignore Merle's continuous cursing. "He was comfortable in a position at Woodbury where he was living the _fucking life_. He knows what kind of man the Governor was and yet he listened to everything he was told to do. Merle killed innocent people for that man instead of going out to be with his sibling. Would you have done that?"

"Why don't you shut the hell up?"

My vision blurred with my anger and the beginning of tears that I prayed wouldn't come. "I would've gone to the ends of the earth to find family. But your shitty brother didn't even care enough to look for you for more than a week. He found a better offer at Woodbury and his loyalty to the Governor became more important than you."

"You couldn't save your brother, sweetheart!" Merle called out from where Glenn and Rick restrained him, but my eyes didn't waver from Daryl's cold blue ones. His eyes bore into mine and I could feel the heat from his body washing over me in a wave of frustration. "I saved my little brother. You can't say the same for yours," Merle continued on like this for a while. His continuing taunts only riled me up more, but still I stayed silent. Only the deep breathing of Daryl echoed in my ears as we both tried not to attack each other, the tension in the small space that was between us was holding still.

Merle ruthlessly yelled about my brother and his death over and over again. My heart sunk with each beat. He was right about me. I was not able to save my brother. I couldn't protect him when he needed me. The Walkers took him right from my hands...

I felt like I was at a breaking point when Daryl finally broke his eyes from mine and spun around on Merle. I was shocked when he started to yell at him instead of me. "Merle, shut the fuck up! Stop being an asshole for two seconds. You know you haven't any room to judge someone for failing their sibling."

Something dark passed in Merle's eyes. "You think I've failed you? You defending her now, little brother?"

"I ain't defending nobody. I'm trying to vouch for you to stay with us and you're making it real fucking hard."

"Everyone calm down! Now!" Rick glowered at us all and his command put a stop to the chaos.

"He's not coming with us," Glenn insisted yet again, bringing the argument back around to Merle's fate and no longer on my brother.

I rocked back on my heels, catching my breath after my screaming match with the eldest Dixon. My heart still hammered in my chest as I looked over at Daryl who was shifting his weight from foot to foot, his accusing stare on Merle.

"You let the samari go but not me?" Merle pointed out, motioning to Michonne, who held herself higher and pointed her sword out at him.

I watched Rick yanked the sword from her hands for the second time as they exchanged vicious looks. "She is not in a state to be on her own. We patch her up then she is gone," Rick finalized. His gaze was cold. "She," he said pointing at me, "will be here until we don't need her to fight the Governor anymore."

Merle rolled his eyes. "I know more than that bitch can tell you. I've got the training to fight too."

"Why don't ya shut up?" Daryl yelled in Merle's face again.

This time Merle squared around towards Daryl, ready to put his little brother in his place. "Shut up yourself! Bunch of pussies you –"

He was cut off by the crack of Rick's gun against his head, knocking him out cold.

Everyone looked down at Merle's limp body in silence. I wasn't going to be the one to say it, but thank-fucking-God Rick shut him up.

Daryl took a few more dangerous heavy breaths as he looked from Rick to Merle again and again. I could tell he wanted to side with his brother, but he was grateful for Rick's timing too.

After everyone had calmed down the group migrated towards the road. Rick, Daryl, Maggie, and Glenn stood off to the side to discuss what was to be done with Merle. Michonne and I were left to stand by the car while Merle was gaining conscience back in the woods still.

I watched the group as they discussed Merle. I only picked up a few things here and there. "Look, the Governor is probably on the way to the prison right now," Daryl said, holding the strap of his crossbow across his shoulder. "Merle knows how he thinks, and we could use the muscle."

Rick must have told him how I knew the Governor well enough too because Daryl glared at me, but I pretended not to notice. I might not have been the Governor's go to guy like Merle, but I saw enough of him. Not to mention everything I had learned about Woodbury prior to my capture. I had the place mentally mapped out with the faces of every resident memorized.

Michonne grunted as she leaned up against the side of the car. Her leg had a nasty deep cut in it and the rest of her was covered in blood that oozed from smaller injuries. I knew she went after the Governor back during the rescue mission for Maggie and Glenn. When I first saw her I knew she had a thirst for the Governor's blood, just like me. "You look like shit," I observed aloud, hoping to stir her up.

She took her time studying me before she answered. "You should see the other guy," she responded with a slight hint of a smile playing at her lips.

I let out a small laugh, something I never though I would've been able to do again. I sat back on the hood of the car and angled my head towards her. "I think I did see the other guy." I remembered the Governor in the arena waiting for Merle to kill Daryl. The Governor had an eyepatch on that was definitely not there the last time I saw him. "You take his eye out?" I asked for confirmation.

Her face was back to its normal vacant look. "Yeah," she answered, staring at the group still deep in discussion.

I watched them too, still unable to make out anything important in their conversation. "Good. That son of a bitch needed a good ass-whooping."

I felt her gaze fall back onto me, but I didn't return it this time. Rick was following Daryl back towards the car.

"We'll fend for ourselves," Daryl yelled back at the others that trailed after him. "It was always Merle and I before this."

Rick put a hand on Daryl's shoulder to stop him momentarily. "You don't have to do this."

Daryl shook his head. "Don't ask me to leave him. I already did that once."

I had heard that story from Merle enough. He always told me how his brother left with the group of people that had abandoned him. Left him chained to the roof in the middle of the city, he always said. His little brother ditched him.

I swallowed the lump in my throat, watching Daryl pack up a bag to take with him. I felt a twinge of sadness to see him go. I tried my best to forget the look he gave me when he first found me in Woodbury. There was something about him that intrigued me. When he looked at me I felt like he was reading every thought in my mind. Sure he was a Dixon, but still, my heart sank to see the man who understood me go away. It sank even more when I watched him leave with his snarling asshole of an older brother, arm in arm with each other.

* * *

**So the Dixon boys are on their own for now. Thank you for reading and please leave a review cause I really don't know if this is good and if it is not then I'm not spending my time finishing it. So let me know what you think I should do. Also, this is a little shorter than the other ones so sorry about that too. **

**Thanks for reading!**


	4. Chapter 4

I swear when I arrived at the prison I instantly cursed myself for spending so much time on Woodbury when I should've been focusing on this place. Sure, the prison was harder to get in and out of, but I could have managed it. I spent a month planning out how to sneak into Woodbury to steal their things, when the prison was a gold mine for me. They didn't have the man power that the Governor had, but their food supply was much more diverse. When Maggie brought me inside, I couldn't believe what this group had managed to scavenge. They didn't have very many people, but the few that they did have were no pussies. They were a damn tough bunch, that was for sure.

And they were currently all tense as hell. Daryl running off with his brother had a negative effect on everyone that knew him. I could feel the collective hate for Merle that bounced around the concrete walls because he had stolen away someone that everyone looked up to. It was a little strange for me to see how upset people were. I wondered if Daryl even knew how much these people loved him. And if he did know how could he just leave them all behind?

I felt uncomfortable joining in on the group. I didn't know their names well yet. There was no formal introductions these days, but I was picking up on them slowly. Carol, with her short grey hair, seemed the most bothered about Daryl. She put a bony hand up to her mouth and sucked in a breath when Rick told her. I felt numb watching her feel emotion for someone. I hadn't had that pleasure since my brother. He was the last person I ever really cared about. The thought of befriending anyone else made me ache. The more people you love, the higher the risks of getting hurt. And I was not getting hurt again.

That's why I started to mentally plan my departure. My mind went to picking out which items I would take with me when I left, that was, after I killed the Governor. Once he was dead I would be taking all I could carry and going on my way. I had no current desire to spend more time here than necessary. I wasn't sure where I would go next, and frankly I wasn't worried about it. I would figure it out along the way.

"Maggie might have some clothes that will fit you," said a sweet voice from behind me.

I turned around to see a young girl with blonde wavy hair. In her arms she held a chunky little baby. I was shocked at the sight of it. I stared at it in half disbelief. The child crooned and held my gaze for the longest time. It looked calm, like it had no worries in the world. I envied that.

"Um," the girl shifted the baby on her hip, "I'm Beth, and this is Judith."

I blinked myself free of my stare and looked at her vacantly. "The mother?"

Her quick glance to the ground told me the answer to my question, but it was a little boy who stalked by and answered me aloud.

"She's dead," he said plainly, not bothering to stop to look at me.

I could tell instantly he was not a fan of me. I was a stranger, it made sense that he was cautious.

Once the boy was out of earshot, Beth spoke again. "That's Carl. His mother died having the baby."

Asking the question was stupid and rude of me in the first place, but my people skills were a little rusty. I should have kept my mouth shut, then maybe the kid-Carl- would not have ended up scowling at me from across the room every two seconds. I had accidentally created an enemy out of the poor kid. But, if he needed a person to hate after the tragic events of his mother's death, then I didn't mind to be that person. I didn't care what anyone here thought of me in the end.

"We have a water trough out back," Maggie said, saving me from the depressing conversation with Beth. "I can show you to it, let you get cleaned up," she said with an attempted grin.

"Afterwards I'll take a look at you. I can already tell you'll need a few stitches on your brow." I turned again to look at the old man who had spoken from his bench beside Michonne. He had introduced himself as Hershel. He was obviously the doctor that Rick had mention, judging by how he was cleaning out Michonne's wound on her leg.

"Thank you," I muttered to them. Hearing the words coming from my lips sounded weird. I hadn't been verbally grateful to anyone in what felt like a lifetime. It was strange having people look out for me again. I almost didn't know how to react to all of this. I was anxious and out of place here, another reason I was eager to kill the Governor and leave as soon as possible.

Maggie took me outside and around the corner where they had a supply of clean water stored in round barrels and low troughs. She left me with a rag to wipe off with and neatly folded jeans and a loose white tank top. I looked down at the worn out clothes that I had lived in for more than I would have liked. It was about time I peeled these from my skin.

I was left by myself outside of the prison. I groaned as I lifted my shirt over my head with much effort, every muscle screaming for me to stop. Looking at my stomach I saw the black and blue decorating my skin that was left over from both Merle's torture sessions and my last encounter with the Governor.

I dipped the cloth in the water and wiped off the dirt layer that rested on my sensitive skin, doing my best to decipher grime from bruise. It took me forever to clean up the mess that I had become, dabbing at the crusted blood that coated my face. I spent a solid twenty minutes just untangling my hair and re-braiding the wet hair down my back.

I took my sweet time cleaning myself up, basking in the comfort of the soft rag against my skin. All the while my mind was wandering off to things I was trying so hard to forget. I don't know why I cared, but I couldn't help but question how Daryl was doing out there with Merle. I barely knew the guy. The only time we spoke was when we were angry and had to speak; it was never under good circumstances. Still, I thought about how he was handling Merle and for some odd reason I felt the urge to need to protect him from Merle, as if he hadn't lived with the man for his entire life.

I shook away my thoughts and stared down at the small barrel of water I had used and turned a dark brown color from rinsing off. I didn't even recognize myself in the reflection of the dirtied water. The bags under my eyes had darkened ten times since the last time I checked and my cheeks looked sunken in a bit. I guess I hadn't got the sleep or nourishment I needed in Woodbury. I looked worn out, like I had been through hell and back, and I certainly felt that way too. Every breath hurt my insides.

I tossed my old clothes away, leaving them behind as the last part of Woodbury. Walking back into the prison, I made my way to Hershel, who was finishing up looking over Michonne's injuries.

"I was hoping you wouldn't be as roughed up as her," he addressed me as I slowly entered. "But by the looks of it you might be making my job more difficult."

His kind smile reached his eyes. The welcoming vibe about him gave me the courage to approach and sit down on the bench next to him. He immediately began with the gash on my eyebrow. It took several stitches to close it up. He put ointment on anything else that I had on my body, but it was my ribs that I was dreading he look at. I lifted up my shirt for him and when his brow drew in in concern I knew it was bad news.

He pressed around on it and I sucked in a breath between my teeth. I didn't even notice that Michonne was staring at my bruised torso until afterwards.

"I don't think any of the ribs are broken too bad," Hershel started as he was getting a wrap ready to put around my mid section. "A few may be fractured. It'll just take time to heal them."

I stood to let him warp the cloth tightly around me, keeping everything inside of me in the right place. While he was still working on me, Glenn had gathered Michonne, Maggie, Beth, Carol, and Carl around so he could discuss going after the Governor. He thought we should attack the Governor before he had the chance to come at us. I noted how he mentioned that the whole front of the prison was not secure. I soaked in all they said about the place for after my job with them was done and I would be sneaking out on my own. They gave me everything I needed to know, all their weaknesses.

"How do we know the Governor is going to attack? We coulda scared him off," Maggie said, crossing her arms over her chest.

Michonne rolled her eyes. "He had fish tanks with heads." My head jerked up to look at her as she spoke. I had known he was a sick man, but I wasn't expecting this. "Walkers and humans," she continued. "Trophies. He's coming."

My heartbeat quickened at the thought of the Governor coming back here and taking me back with him. Or putting all of our heads in tanks for him to take pride in everyday.

"We should hit him now," I agreed with Glenn. The group turned to look at me, as if forgetting I was there.

"What?" Beth looked at me like I was crazy.

But Glenn was quick to support my statement. "He won't be expecting it. We'll sneak back in and put a bullet in his head."

"We aren't assassins," Carol informed him, but he wasn't listening.

"You know where his apartment is," he said to Michonne, walking up to her eagerly. "You and I could win this tonight."

"Don't even think about leaving me out of this." I took a step forward only thinking better of it after Hershel placed a tender hand on me to hold me back so that he could finish his work.

Glenn looked me over, his one eye still swollen slightly from Merle's beat down in Woodbury. "Hershel just said you have fractured ribs. I don't think you can go in there with us."

My temper was quick to rise, especially when people were telling me what I was and wasn't capable of. "You can barely see out of one eye," I pointed out. "And Michonne isn't exactly up for this either."

Michonne didn't agree with me, but she didn't disagree either.

"Rick won't allow it," Hershel offered up as he was cleaning away his bloodied rags and medical supplies.

Glenn turned to face him. "You really think he's in any position to make that choice."

I furrowed my brow. I hadn't noticed the absence of their supposed leader. He looked out of his mind back when he took me from Woodbury, and I must've been right judging by how everyone glanced around at each other. I could only guess how this world had finally messed up another person's mind. That's when I noticed Carl. His mother died after she had her baby, so her death must have been recent enough that people weren't over it yet. Including Rick.

"We know the Governor is coming back, so why are we still here," Hershel said in his mesmerizingly calm voice. "We can't stay here."

"We can't run," Glenn responded firmly and his expression only softened after Maggie stormed away from the conversation and into her own cell.

Glenn ran a hand through his hair and finally decided against going after the Governor, but we weren't running either, thank God. He drew out a map of the prison for us so we could at least busy ourselves with helpful work.

He was taking Carl down to the tombs they called it. It was a part of the prison that was backed up with Walkers. They had managed to get in and it was only a matter of time before they took over. I argued to go down with the two boys, which they finally agreed upon. I needed somewhere to get out my frustration, and killing Walkers was the only solution right now.

I felt fire coursing through my veins when I killed one after the other. I hadn't gotten the chance to take on so many Walkers in a while. And I really missed it. It felt so natural to be swinging out recklessly at a Biter and to finally give zero fucks about the world.

After countless hours of killing the meander-thaws, which was the therapy I needed, we went back up with the group. Glenn made a decision to go on a run alone, leaving us there to defend ourselves if the Governor appeared. I felt the place was vulnerable without any real fighters around. Again my mind went to Daryl. If he was here we could have stormed Woodbury again and easily fought the Governor. But yet again Merle ruins it all by taking him away.

"We don't need you here."

I looked to my side to see Carl was glowering at me still. He had stared daggers at me the entire time we were in the tombs together. I was honestly surprised he didn't try to push me into them in hopes that I would get bit.

We were standing outside the prison building now, watching Hershel crutch his way to the outer fence to convince Rick to come back to planet earth.

"According to Rick, I'm your best shot at touching the Governor," I smiled mockingly down at him. "Sorry kiddo, but you're stuck with me."

"My dad's wrong. He's been wrong a lot lately."

I peered at him from the corner of my eye. "Dad, huh?" That made more sense of why Rick was so upset about the recent death of Judith and Carl's mom. She was his wife too. She was someone he loved more than anyone, of course he was having a hard time coping.

Carl tilted his wide brimmed hat back to get a better look at me. "Why do you want to be here anyways?"

"Why do _you_ hate me so much kid? What did I do to you?"

His jaw clenched before he answered. "I need to protect my family, and you are someone that puts them in danger."

"Just be glad you still have family to protect." I remembered again his mother and stupidly decided to add to my previous statement. "Well, more family than most of us, anyway."

Carl went silent. I felt bad for the wave of grief that washed over his face as he thought about his mother too. I was an ass, I knew that. It's just how I was sometimes. I finally took my eyes form Hershel and Rick and gave the little man my full attention, tipping his hat lightheartedly. "Listen, I am not trying to hurt your family here. Okay? I just want the Governor dead. And I can't do it all by myself, as much as I wish I could. _That's_ why I'm here."

His expression went back to it's sternness in a second. "We still can't trust you. Doesn't matter if we have common goals."

I grinned at him. "You're one smart kid. Stay that way." I looked back towards the prison building where his baby sister was probably taking her third nap of the day. After Woodbury, I understood taking precautions when it came to strangers. Hell, I respected Carl for the way he wasn't being fooled by nobody. But, him not being entirely convinced I was here for the Governor's head only was pissing me off slightly. Because he was entirely fucking right.

Carl would be my number one difficulty when it came down to robbing the prison. I would have to make sure he didn't fuck it all up for me.

* * *

**Sorry no Daryl in this one but he will be back in the next one. I'm working on the next few chapters so might be a day or so for those. Let me know what you think or if you want anything added to this story. I am open to suggestions so just let me know and leave a review if you don't mind. **

**Thanks!**


	5. Chapter 5

I was taking in the fresh air with Carl still by my side when I started getting a bad feeling.

I felt the presence of Carol and Beth coming up behind us. I was stuck watching Hershel talk with the crazed Rick. I prayed that he could get Rick's head on straight enough to come help plan how to deal with the Governor.

That's when I really felt the change in the wind. My stomach turned in circles, a feeling I couldn't shake. I took a step closer to the fence and put my hand on it as I squinted to see into the trees.

I tried to get the warning out, but it was too late. I saw the Governor in the trees and his gun went off before my voice had a chance to reach the others. I grabbed the shirt of Carl to pull him back with me. His hands went to where I gripped his shirt and he started to try and free himself, not realizing what was going on yet. I held tight and yanked his small frame around the corner of the wall just as gunfire exploded out from everywhere around us.

"Shit," Carl muttered just as Beth rushed inside of the prison for weapons hopefully.

Carl took out his gun and fired in the direction of the Governor's men. I sat back helplessly watching Michonne and Carol spray the trees with their own gunfire. I searched for Hershel who was still out in the open, separated from everyone by the fences. He would die, I thought for sure. He had a gun to defend himself if he could, but without two legs to run away on, he was a goner. There goes our only doctor.

Rick was still outside the fence where the Governor's men were, and I had no doubt in my mind they would take him out easily too. And there would go the leader of our gang. To say we were fucked would have been an understatement.

"Emma!" Maggie shouted from across the way with Beth behind her. They had two rifles each and one of them was slid across the ground to me.

In normal circumstances I could have taken that gun and fired away like everyone else. But the Governor's presence had my head a scrambled mess. My heart pounded in my chest so fast I thought it might explode. My hands were shaking uncontrollably and I felt like I was back in Woodbury, trapped within the rotting walls. My throat felt swollen when I tried to swallow, making it harder and harder to breath.

It was like my entire body was shutting down and I didn't understand. Seeing the Governor, even if he was separated from me by a yard and two fences, I still pictured him inches from me and pulling me into his truck to take me back to Woodbury. Just the possibility that it might happen had me rendered useless.

"What are you doing?" Carl shouted at me, taking a second to glance at my trembling figure pressed up against the cement wall. "Help us! Get the gun!"

I could hear what he was saying, but it was not reregistering. The only thing I was thinking of was how there was no way we were winning this battle and I would be back with the Governor by the next hour. I couldn't believe how foolish I was to even think that we could have beaten him in the first place.

Just when I didn't think it could get any worse, a van came speeding straight towards the prison and busted down the first gate. It stopped in the middle of the yard where Hershel had been alone. The doors opened up and Walkers were soon stumbling out into the yard one after the next. If Hershel wasn't already dead out there, he would be soon.

My vision crossed at the sight of the multiple Walkers moaning for the want of living flesh. What the fuck was wrong with me? A day ago I stared down the Governor and had no problem with storming up to kill him, but now it was like just the thought of him had me too weak to function.

My whirring mind was about to overload when I blinked away some of the panic and saw that the Governor got back into his truck and was speeding away from the scene, letting the Walkers finish us off.

I managed to swallow down the thick lump in my throat and force myself away from the wall. I scooped up the rifle and surveyed the courtyard, noticing how the noise of our gunfire had drawn in more Walkers to the outer fence.

The group was running out into the courtyard, Michonne at the lead. It took me a beat to see that they were going out to save Hershel, who was _miraculously_ unharmed.

I didn't think twice as I start following everyone out towards the Walkers invading our courtyard. We all fired at the Walkers or used a knife to put them down if they were in reach. I felt the adrenaline, the feeling of life and power, filling my veins. But I still wasn't my usual self, checking the road every second to see if the Governor was coming back. That constant fear ate away at my mind, making me not as sharp as I would have liked to be in a death match with unfeeling creatures.

When a car did fly down the road towards us, my body seized up again. It took more time than I would have like for me to reassure myself that it was only Glenn returning from his poorly timed supply run. But, thank God he came back when he did because he was able to reach Hershel much faster than we were. Glenn pulled up next to him and had Hershel back to safety in no time.

The others were making their way back to the prison as well. But I stood still, mesmerized by the clanking of teeth as I made one Walker head splatter after the next. I was clearing out a path back to the prison as well when I heard the grunts of someone struggling.

I turned back towards the outer fence and I took off running before I really saw him. Rick was overwhelmed by five Walkers with more being attracted to him by the second. They held him against the fence and he was doing his best to push them back. My legs were carrying me as fast as they could to save him, but I wouldn't make it. I wanted to shoot at them, but I didn't trust myself to not accidentally hit Rick.

My hope was dwindling away with every pounding step. A Walker was centimeters from his face and there was nothing I could do. I felt a scream rising in my throat, my frustration getting the best of me. I almost just shut my eyes to look away from what was bound to be a gruesome death until an arrow shot from the trees and put down the Walker that was on him. Rick was just as confused as I was until we both spotted the Dixon brothers at the same time.

All the doubts I had about Rick or Hershel or the entire group's capabilities were washed away at the sight of Daryl Dixon. I knew that we would be okay. I knew the Governor wasn't getting me back, at least not today. Even though I didn't see eye to eye with Daryl, just his presence kept me grounded; he kept me sane. The glue that held everything together was back, and he was here to clean up the God damn mess that was made while he was gone.

I rushed to the fence, feeling entirely myself one again, and used my knife to kill the Walkers that weren't being taken care of by Rick, Daryl, or Merle. I felt my built up rage be released into every stab I took through the fence. My body worked wildly with no more fear holding me back.

Once the Walkers surrounding them were dead, Daryl stood back, his eyes flicking up to Rick. There was going to be more arguing about Merle inside, I knew that much, but there was a silent agreement and pact that was made between Rick and Daryl. I looked between the two of them before Daryl finally met my eyes. He stared, frustratingly unreadable. I didn't dare let myself look at Merle before I spun around and started swinging my blade at the Walkers coming at me from my side of the fence.

The boys quickly ran around to meet me on the inside, helping one another out so no one would become overwhelmed. Rick had a look of revenge in his eyes that made me grin. It was about damn time everyone got fired up about the Governor, we needed to take killing him seriously. We had our backs to each other, moving as one to take out any Walkers. I felt calm with Rick and Daryl flanking me, they gave me a sense of protection that I don't think I had since the world went to shit. It was strange how connected to them I felt, almost like a family looking out for one another.

Back inside I shook away the idea that these people gave a fuck about me other than because I could help them with the Governor problem. I needed to chill with that damn family thinking. I couldn't let myself get attached, I couldn't.

I sat by myself while Hershel cleaned everyone up. He stitched and cleaned fresh wounds or re-opened ones. Almost nobody talked, not even about the fact that Merle was there now. We were too exhausted I think to try and start up that screaming battle again. Tomorrow we could all be mad that Merle was here or that the Governor attacked. Tomorrow we could plan more destruction, but for now we needed healing both physically and mentally.

One by one people disappeared into their own rooms. I was locked away separate from their cells with Merle and Michonne. Rick said he couldn't trust us yet and we needed to stay separate from everyone else when they slept. I understood the reasoning, but I wasn't happy about sleeping in the same room as Merle.

Michonne had taken to a corner and while I would much rather speak to her that to Merle, she didn't look like she wanted to be bothered. So, I huffed out a breath and looked to Merle who was leaned up against a wall, inspecting the metal that covered where his right hand used to be.

"You came back," I said, my voice sounding much louder than I wanted it to sound in the silent prison. I wasn't being rude to him or trying to start something. If I had learned anything about Merle from the time I've spent with him, it was that he was just as hot headed as I was and that he often said things that he didn't mean in the heat of the moment. That's why I didn't hold our argument prior to his departure against him and I would be using this conversation to hopefully make amends.

I think Merle and I were a little too similar sometimes. We both had shit lives and basically raised our younger siblings on our own. We both were too stubborn for our own good. And we both sure as hell didn't know when to keep our mouths shut.I think that is why we always got too personal from time to time like when he brought up my deceased sibling before. We knew where to hit the other where it would hurt; our weaknesses were our little brothers.

"Why did you come back?" I kept my voice light, showing him that I just genuinely wanted to know the answer and that I wasn't going to nag at him about anything.

He spared a second to look up at me. "We knew you dickheads would need us. Even if you can't admit that."

I stared down at my hands, not believing that was the reason, but also not denying it. "Well, I guess you're right." I stood up and slid a cigarette out from the package that lay beside of him, glad he let me take one. "If you and Daryl hadn't come back, Rick might be dead."

Merle silently held out a lighter to light my cigarette for me. It was probably the most kind thing he'd done for me besides sit and talk with me during the lonely nights of captive life. It was also as much of an apology that I would ever get from Merle and I took it as a sign that we were on good terms again.

"So I guess we do need you guys," I squeaked out before taking a long drawl on the cigarette and making my way to the door leading outside. I left Merle speechless I guess because he didn't say anything as I left to finish my smoke.

I didn't want to smoke inside since there was a baby indoors. I stood out and looked up at the bright moon. The growls of the Walkers that were still in the courtyard kept the moment form being peaceful and enjoyable. I huffed on my cigarette and slowly strode around the area, not thinking anyone else would be out this late.

Boy was I wrong. I turned the corner to where the barrels of clean water were, the place where I had cleaned myself upon my arrival. Now standing there was Daryl. His back was facing me and he hadn't noticed I stumbled upon him yet. I wanted to turn away and leave him be, give him the privacy that he came out here to have. I really did. But I was glued in place.

His shirt lay on the ground next to him and my eyes watched every muscle in his back and arms moving. The moonlight bounced off of him in such a way that just illuminated his muscles even more. It took me a minute to notice the scars that were on his back and shoulders, obviously from a beating. I recognize them to match the ones Merle had given me during my first week at Woodbury. Merle was crueler back before he took the time to chat and get to know me, so that was another thing on the list that I had forgiven him for.

At first I wondered if Merle had given the scars to Daryl too, but any thoughts about Merle and scars were long gone when Daryl raised an arm up to stretch it out, the muscles flexing as he did so. My knees weakened at the sight of his bare skin. I swallowed hard and tried to look away again, but it was no use.

I really knew it was too late when he turned around on his heel, spotting me looking on like a creep. The fire in his eyes told me I was in for it.

"The hell ya think yer doing'?"

I shook my head and tried to keep my eyes on his face and not his bare chest as he stalked towards me. "Sorry, I was just–"

"Yeah? Just what? Snoopin' around in my business?"

I furrowed my brow and crossed my arms. My mind switched into defensive mode and my anger began to spark. "I was just taking a walk, asshole. I don't give a fuck about what you do."

He wasn't buying it. "Ya sure did stand there long enough."

There was no explaining that without sounding like a total idiot, which I was not about to have at the moment. So, I asked the only question that would steer the conversation away from the fact that I was stupidly admiring him. "Did Merle do that to you?"

His eyes shot up to mine as he shoved his arms through a sleeveless button up shirt to cover up his scars. He might have been a sheet of hot anger, but I saw the embarrassment and insecurity that he was trying to cover up. He did a damn good job at covering it up too; I thought he might hit me he looked so mad. "You don't know nothin' 'bout us! Stop actin' like you do just cause Merle told ya a few stories! He didn't scar me up. He would never h–"

His rant was cut off at the sight of me turning around and pulling up the back of my shirt. I could feel his eyes running along every scar that crisscrossed down my back. I let him stand in silence and take it all in for a long time before I dropped the tank top back down over my skin and turned to face him. I knew he wouldn't listen to me try and explain that Merle _would,_ in fact, do something like that, so I had to show him instead. It did the trick of shutting up his tempered ass.

His eyes dropped to the ground and I could tell he was still fuming, but for a different reason now. "Merle do that?" He asked dangerously quiet. In his heart he knew the answer before he even asked the question. It was just hard believing his brother was still fucking up other peoples lives on a daily basis.

I shrugged it off, taking another drawl on the cigarette to distract myself from the reality of it. I didn't mind that I might look less attractive with all of the scars I had, I just felt ashamed that I wasn't strong enough to prevent something like this from happening.

"It was before he knew me. He was doing his job." I tried my best to take some of the blame off of Merle. I didn't want Daryl to be mad about it. This entire conversation only came about because I was gawking at him, not because I wanted to know or even cared about his scars nor mine.

Daryl shook his head. "Doesn't make it right."

"Doesn't matter," I said quickly. "Nothing that can be done about it."

Daryl knew I was one tough bitch. There was no denying it after what I'd gone through, but he still looked like he was pitying me. I was starting to despise the way he did that. I was not some God damn damsel in distress. To get the attention completely off of me this time, I decided to dig deeper about where his scars came from, which I had to keep reminding myself that I didn't care about. Well... maybe I was a little curious. But still, I told him about mine, it was only fair he return the action.

"If it wasn't Merle, then who?"

Daryl was confused at first, his thoughts on Merle beating the shit out of you because some asshat wanted him to. When he realized you were talking about his own experiences he shook his head. "Piece of shit dad," he confirmed casually and gnawed at the skin around his thumb. "He did it to Merle first. Then me. Merle took a lot for me though. Guess he didn't tell ya that story huh?"

Merle talked a little about how his dad drank a lot, but he never mentioned him being abusive. Suddenly I understood why Merle would be the way he is. Without thinking I muttered, "Like father like son."

Daryl glared at me, his eyes a deep pool of hurt and anger and I realized that what I had said would include him too and not just Merle. "That what ya think of me? Ya think I'll beat ya? Or any of them in there?" He motioned to inside the prison where everyone was sleeping. His voice grew louder as he went on, his boiling anger returning in an instant.

"No! I didn't mean that. I know you wouldn't–"

"Nah," he cut me off curtly. "For the last time, ya don't know me. So stop pretending ya do."

He shouldered by me harder than was necessary, leaving me alone with my smoke still in hand. I sighed and pinched the bridge of my nose once he was gone.

Why did the Dixon boys have to be so _fucking_ sensitive?


	6. Chapter 6

The entire morning there was shouting about what the next move was. Hershel still wanted to run, but Rick didn't want to give up the prison. Then there was the inevitable argument about Merle and his loyalties. I stayed clear of the conversation this time. It was none of my concern who stayed or didn't stay, as long as the Governor was dead in the end. I would go out on a suicide trip by my damn self if it meant I might be able to kill the Governor.

However, deep down I knew that might not go how I plan for it to. After my last breakdown due to the Governor, I wasn't sure I could trust myself to do anything alone. We were dangerously low on ammo and weapons, so I wanted to go out and look for more on my own many times, but I couldn't bring myself to do it. What if I ran into the Governor or his men and my mind shut off again. I just couldn't do that to myself. And the only person who seemed to put me at ease last time was Daryl and he was still so mad at me that he didn't even acknowledge my presence anymore.

Soon enough the Governor's blonde bitch, Andrea, came strolling up to the prison gate. Her entrance was a bit awkward as she hugged the people she once lived and survived with. She asked about the dead ones–about Lori, Carl's dead mother. Most of all I think she was shocked to see how cold hearted people had turned. Especially after what her boyfriend did to them all.

I listened to her spew out her bullshit about settling things. "I don't know what Philip has done, but we can work something out," she said and the worst part was was that she actually believed that.

"We're gonna kill him," Rick told her evenly and I let a harsh laugh escape at his dismissal of her proposition, resulting in a glare from Andrea. I was the only one who she didn't recognize.

"And who are you exactly?" She asked me, resting her hands on her hips.

I grinned and stood up straighter to face her. She was not about to talk to me like I was some irrelevant piece of trash. So I didn't hold back as I said, "I'm the bitch _Philip_ fucked when you weren't in the mood."

She did a double take. "_Excuse_ me?" She looked me up and down like it was my fault that it had happened at all.

Andrea didn't even know I was ever in Woodbury, let alone her hubby's side piece. I swallowed down the memories of him.

"He had a jolly ole time feeling up Maggie too," I said jabbing my thumb towards Maggie to point her out.

Andrea looked over at Maggie, waiting for her to deny it, but she only put her head down letting her silence be answer enough.

"Still think we can work something out?"

Andrea didn't like my logic and apparently didn't have an answer for me because she turned away from me and back to Rick. She went on and on about how the Governor would take us out if we didn't try to negotiate. But when Daryl so charmingly informed her that he would take the Governor's other eye if he got the chance, I think she realized it was no use, and we sent her on her way.

The next few days came and went slowly with me still being a fucking coward about leaving on my own. I did, however, feel myself gaining strength back slowly but surly. My muscles were returning back to their full potential and my bruised sides and ribs only hurt mildly. They certainly did not look pretty at all, truing a nasty yellowish color. But I was being put back together after my grand escape from confinement.

I felt like a new person now, though. I was rarely friendly anymore, not that I was too friendly before, but now I was hard and always so untrusting of the others; I was almost cruel at times. I had been sculpted into the hero that I needed to be for myself and that made me put up so many walls around me for protection. I had one motivation for life now and that was to kill the Governor. I suppose any person fueled by hate would be a little cruel.

Andrea had set up a place for Rick to meet with the Governor, though Rick let me know that he had no hopes for it going in the direction of a peace treaty. When Rick, Daryl, and Hershel rode back from their talk with the Governor that day, I could tell by the look in Rick's eyes that he was right and that this war was still on. It wasn't until later that I overheard that the Governor had given us a way out. He wanted Michonne. I was surprised the deal wasn't for me too. I guess he expected me to go in there with Rick to make the exchange of Michonne and he could take me then. I just knew he would kill us all if we went out there. He was just waiting to get us all together away from home where he could slaughter us.

Outside of the prison the sun beat down on me. It was so strong that I had to squint my eyes to adjust to the brightness. I took a deep breath, enjoying the fresh air that I was deprived of for so long in Woodbury. Then I noticed Rick and Daryl talking urgently about something and my stomach twisted in nots.

Suddenly, the two men started at me in a hurried pace. "Have you seen Merle around?" Rick asked while trying his best not to sound too worried, but I saw through him like a glass window.

"No, it's been a while since I had the pleasure."

Daryl looked up at me warningly through his eyelashes and shaggy hair. Without offering any information about their concerns, they started back into the prison.

"He said something about going down to look for drugs in the tombs," I heard Daryl tell Rick.

I was at their heals in a moment, too curious to stay out of their business. "What's going on?" I could tell they were flustered and in a panic by now as we went down deeper into the prison complex.

"Stay out of it," Daryl growled, not bothering to hide his bitter tone that he saved up just for me these days. But he knew better than to tell me that, I couldn't stay out of anything.

"Michonne is gone too," Rick mumbled to himself once we were in the room where Daryl said he last talked to Merle.

The two of them were looking around the room for a sign of the two until Daryl spotted some old bags and zip-ties behind a counter. "He took her," he called out to Rick and we both came rushing over.

"Thought you were gonna turn Michonne in anyway," I said from behind them. The two turned to look at me. Their stupid shocked expressions almost made me snicker.

"How'd you know that?" Rick asked with his head tilted to look at me.

I shrugged. There wasn't a lot I didn't know about a place, especially if I was actually a resident and not just an outsider looking to loot. They should've known by now I liked to stay informed one way or another. "Why would Merle run off with her? Thought you were all going down to meet the Governor with her?"

"I can't." Rick sounded torn still. "The Governor would've killed us all anyway."

"She's helped us," I agreed. "We couldn't have handed her over."

"I'm going after them," Rick said, already heading back the way we had come in.

"You can't track for shit," Daryl cut him off. He hoisted his crossbow up on his shoulder to rest and nodded at me and Rick. "I'll go find Merle and bring them both back."

"I'm going too," I said and squared my shoulders to Daryl, ready for him to fight me on the matter.

"Hell no."

"You shouldn't go alone," Rick said while rubbing a hand down his face.

"You all need to be here to get ready. Get yer family ready too," he nodded towards Rick again.

Finally he looked at me, I mean_ really_ looked at me, for the first time since the night I had disrupted him and seen his scarred up back. It wasn't a hard, resenting stare or a threatening glare, but a soft plead, silently urging me to listen to him. He knew my complicated relationship with Merle and I'm sure he understood that Merle talked with me through some shitty times, which meant a lot to a person who had nothing. I wanted him back here and unharmed as much as Daryl did. I couldn't let Merle do anything stupid, and we both knew he was a master at doing stupid things. But I melted looking into Daryl's meaningful deep blue eyes. I had to listen to him. Or at least I was going to make him think I would stay put as I slowly nodded to him.

With a final nod and a slight grin that I might have imagined, Daryl turned and rushed out the door to track down Merle. I watched him go until he disappeared around the corner. The angel wings on the leather vest that he wore were the last thing I saw of him before I went with Rick back to the others.

I sat against one of the fences, fiddling with the loose strings on my torn pants. I told Daryl I would stay and get ready for the Governor to come back, but I needed to get out there. I wanted to help him and for some odd reason I had a bad feeling in the pit of my chest that something was not going to go well. I felt the urge to go and... protect Daryl? It sounded crazy to even think it. Daryl was a survivor through and through. Even before the dead started walking again, he had survived on his own with a shit brother who left him all the time. I could remember Merle telling me how strong he thought his little brother was, but he never let him know that. He would call Daryl names and push him in the dirt and spit on him to make him think he was less than he really was. That was Merle's way of helping him grow into the person he needed to be; he needed to become someone who never needed anyone but himself. And somehow Merle had played a part in making me into that person too.

The sound of someone approaching me interrupted my thoughts. I turned and squinted upward to see who it was. Glenn sat down next to me with his arms resting on his knees.

"Can I help you?" I asked more rudely than intended.

"Daryl asked me if Merle had apologized for what he did to me and Maggie." I was silent, unsure of what to say. This guy seemed to be saying stuff that he just needed to get off of his chest and he didn't have someone to unload it onto. But why would he choose me of all people to dump his thoughts onto? "He said that Merle was sorry. Said he would make it right."

"Why are you telling me this?"

"You know Merle," he said with a grieving kind of force that made me look at him. His face was still yet a little swollen from what Merle had done to him for the Governor. "You talked with Merle all the time. You know the things he has done and he trusted you with personal stuff about himself."

I swallowed hard, trying not to think too much about it all. "So? What's your point?"

"My point is that you know him better than anyone here, except for Daryl. So I wanna know if you think Merle really is sorry. Do you think he can even feel a little sorry for what he let happen to Maggie?" Then as an after thought he quickly added, "Or to you?"

I sighed and looked down at my dirt covered hands, not wanting to look at him for fear that I might not be able to hold back any emotion. "Merle is a selfish guy. I know that he has killed innocent people just because the Governor told him todo it. He has done some messed up things." Glenn put his head down and nodded. I was confirming the thoughts he was wishing were not true. "But I don't think Merle can be heartless enough to not feel anything." I paused for a long time, thinking back to when he first found me. He was reluctant to bring me to Woodbury and I thought it was because I was a stranger back then, but it turns out he was afraid of what the Governor would do to a girl like me or what he himself would be ordered to do. The memory of the Governor against me still haunts me and I know it haunts Merle too that he let it happen. "Merle does whatever he needs to stay alive. He might be too big of a coward to stop bad things from happening like with Maggie, but he definitely feels that guilt for a long time."

"I can't forgive him for what happened to Maggie. But, I want to think he can be a decent person, to think he could even help us."

I pursed my lips and nodded. "We all do. It gets us in a load of shit sometimes to have hope for Merle."

My heart dropped at the sentence that I spoke. The bad feeling in me returned instantly. Daryl was out there right now getting into a load of shit because of Merle. And I was letting it happen.

My adrenaline started pumping and I jumped to my feet. I really needed to go after them. Fuck whatever I told Daryl, I was not sitting on the sidelines on this one.

"Where are you going?" Glenn called after me.

I shook my head at him as I took rushed steps backwards toward the gate. "Don't worry about it." I was too sidetracked to bother with Glenn anymore or explain myself to him.

I just prayed I would be fast enough to help the Dixon's if they needed me.

* * *

I had run for what felt like ages. My wild hair was pasted to my neck and bare arms with the sweat that dripped from me. Every heartbeat pounded in my ears along with the painful reminder that the Governor might be killing the Dixon's at any second now. I couldn't stop for a break, not when their lives could be at risk.

I had told myself, ever since my little brother died, that I would never care for people again in order to save myself the pain and possibility of loosing them. But, the Dixon boys were a different case. I didn't really care about them like I had my brother. They were just a couple of nincompoops who I was willing to help this one time. Daryl was someone important to the prison group and after the way they reacted when he ran off for a few hours, I knew none of them would function if he actually died. And that would mean the whole killing the Governor plan would be fucked.

Down the road I spotted a figure that I had mindlessly assumed to be a Walker. It was not until I was closer that I realized that it was Michonne. I jogged up to her. She held her sword out and looked at me cautiously.

"Where's Merle?"

She leaned her weight onto one leg, resting her hand on her hip. "He let me go. Said he had something to do."

I shook my head knowingly, looking passed her farther down the road. "He'll be at the Governor's outpost," I thought aloud. "Dumb ass is going to get himself killed."

"Why do you care?"

I thought about it for only a second. "Because some stupid part in me knows he can be a good person. I have hope for him." When she didn't look convinced I added, "And that son of a bitch can help us kill the Governor."

I started up into a jog before she could say anything else to me. The outpost was where Rick was going to meet the Governor for the exchanging of Michonne. Merle would beat the Governor there probably. But what the hell was he planning? Why did he let Michonne go? The Governor would kill him on sight, I was sure of it, and I knew he wasn't stupid enough to think any differently.

The sudden jar of loud music interrupted my thoughts. The music blared so loud that every Walker in the area would be drawn to it. I krept up along the run down buildings where I spotted several men from Woodbury holding their guns up to examine the source of the noise. A car with its radio on full blast was the cause, and I had no doubt that it was planted there by Merle. This was his plan.

When a gun shot came from a nearby window sending the Governor's men started dropping dead one by one, I knew Merle was behind that too. He was still here and I needed to get to him before the Governor did. I made my way slowly into the building where Merle was perched with his gun propped on top of his metal covered hand.

"Merle, what the _hell_ are you doing?"

He didn't look away from his gun and the targets he was picking off. "You shouldn't be here," he hissed back.

Before I could tell him to come back with me, two men entered behind me. One of them knocked away my knife that I had in my hand and grabbed my arms. The other raised his gun to kill me, but Merle jumped in his way, knocking the gun up just as the shot went off. My heart hammered in my chest at the sight of Merle going out of his way to save me. I never thought I would see the day that he did something for anyone other than himself.

I didn't let his actions go to waist and immediately went to dealing with the other man in the room by head-butting him so I could rip free from his grasp. I went to lunge after my knife when something solid hit me in the stomach and knocked me to the dusty ground of the shitty building.

"You leave him to me," the Governor hissed out the command to his man who was probably itching to put a bullet in Merle.

His voice sent shivers down my spine and every hair on my body bristled to stand on end. I turned my head towards the door to see him lingering there with his gun in hand. His deadly look was set on Merle and every muscle in me seized with the images of how he might kill him.

I think that is what gave me enough courage to peel myself from the floor and put myself between him and Merle. I had to stand my ground against him, no matter how weak he made me feel. I could not show him that he still had effect on me and that no matter how far away from him I got, he would still always control me.

The Governor was not intimidated by me in the slightest, however, and he swiped my feet out from under me just as easily as he had done before. He stood over me, his gaze raking up and down my body.

I thought for sure he would command his men to toss me into their truck and haul my ass back off to jolly Woodbury. But he didn't say anything at all. He was an unrecognizable man. His eye was glazed over as he aimed his gun at me and pulled the trigger, shooting me in the thigh to insure I wouldn't stand up again and get in his way, but still making sure I was alive to watch him kill Merle.

I wasn't planning on letting the wound stop me from jumping between them again until I felt the cool tip of a gun press to my head by one of his men. I froze, not doubting that this guy would be happy to blow my brains out if I gave him the chance.

I gnawed on my lip watching the Governor wrestle with Merle who was never one to go down without a good fight. The worry that ate me up distracted me from the blood oozing out fast from my leg. I gulped when Merle was overtaken for a moment, the Governor pressing him against a wall. Merle was pushing against him to free himself and I suppose the Governor was taking pointers from Walkers now because he crunched down hard on Merle's fingers, biting them clean off. My stomach lurched at the sight of the fingers sitting on the ground next to me where they had been spit out.

My throat closed up when I looked over to see that the Governor sported a dead look in his eye as he hovered above Merle with his gun pointed down at him.

"I ain't gonna beg," Merle yelled at him in a raspy voice. "I ain't beggin' you."

An eerie darkness washed over the Governor's face when he simply said, "No," and the bullet was fired into Merle.

I was half aware of the inhuman sound that released from my throat. I fell forward and watched Merle fall to the ground in a lifeless heap. My hands shook violently and hot tears rolled down my face before I realized I had even started to cry.

"Leave her," the Governor ordered without sparing me another look. "Merle will take care of her."

The men all left the building and I listened to their cars drive away. My thigh gushed an unhealthy amount of thick blood. I forced myself to look away from Merle long enough to tend to the wound. With much effort I ripped the bottom of my shirt off to leave my stomach exposed. I tied the material tight around my leg to lessen the flow of blood.

I sat in silence with the tears sticking my hair to the side of my face. My knife was clutched in my hand once more. I tried to bring myself to plunge it into Merle's head, but I couldn't. After all Merle had done to me: beat me, whip me, spit on me, curse at me, threaten me. Why couldn't I do it? Why couldn't I kill him before he turned? I sat beside him helplessly sobbing. Maybe because I really didn't hate Merle as much as I wanted to. He was a piece of worthless shit, but we had been through so much he sort of felt like family.

There it was. The fucking family thing. That feeling that I never wanted to experience again. It was the same way I felt when my brother was taken from this world. I swore not to get attached to anyone so they couldn't make me feel like that ever again. And who would have thought that the world's biggest douchebag would be the one to do the trick.

The growls of the newborn Walker that was once Merle perked me up from my stupor. I used the bench and wall beside me to pull myself to my feet and hobble out of the door. The Walker followed after me, growling louder and louder with each step he took.

A new round of tears returned to my eyes and before I knew it Merle was snapping in my face with his foul teeth. I screamed and pushed him away, still not wanting to kill him. Eventually, my leg became too much to limp on and I collapsed to the ground with Merle ready to take advantage of the situation.

I held my knife up and mumbled, "Please," under my breath a million times. I didn't want to do this. I had wanted to kill Merle a thousand times before, but this was different. He died saving my life. He died while helping us all by killing all those men. Merle Dixon, believe it or not, died a hero.

I waited for Merle to reach out for me when a whir of white wings on a leather vest zipped by me, pushing the Walker to the ground.

Daryl held his crossbow down at his side as he took in the sight of his brother. I saw the moment reality hit him as his shoulders slumped and he let his crossbow slip from his hand and clatter to the ground. There was no mistaking the tears that gushed from his eyes as well while Merle slowly got to his feet again and stumbled at Daryl with his hand outstretched to him. I thought Daryl might let the Walker bite into him at first, but then the rage swept over him like a curtain.

Daryl took out his knife and pushed Merle down to pin him against the dirt. He let the knife soar above his head before he brought it down into the skull of the Walker. The form went limp but Daryl wasn't done yet. Over and over and over again he brought the knife in and out of Merle's skull. Blood splattered all over him and all over myself as he continually stabbed the body angrily. My heart broke at the sight of him in so much hurt.

My hands started shaking again as crawled over and reached out for Daryl. "It's over," I said, swiping away my tears with the back of my hand. Then, more loudly, "Daryl! Stop it. It's over. Enough."

I pulled at his shoulders and he finally let me drag him off of the bloody mess that was once Merle. He laid back on the ground, propped up on his elbows. He didn't hold back his loud sobs, his shoulders shaking with an overwhelming amount of grief. Neither of us paid any attention to the other Walkers that were closing in on us. We needed a minute to process I think.

I sat on the ground behind Daryl with my leg getting worse by the second. He let me keep my arms wrapped around his chest, holding his back against me. He needed some sort of comfort right now, and I was all there was to give it. Even if he did hate me, someone had to get him through this. I lost a brother once too and God knows I could've used someone to hold to back then.

Within a minute though Daryl furiously wiped away the tears from his face and grabbed his crossbow. He forced himself to his feet and for the first time he noticed my leg. I knew he would be angry about it because I came out here when he specifically told me not to, but he didn't say anything. He only reached his hand out to me and pulled me to my feet. He laced my arm around his neck and took most of my weight off of my leg, holding me across the waist, leading me back into the trees.

Walking all the way back to the prison was not an option with the state that I was in. So, we stopped at the first little town we came upon where I was set down a little too roughly onto the ground. I hissed through my teeth, but Daryl didn't notice. He tossed things out of his way and kicked trash that littered his path. He reached his target finally, a car with a busted out window, and started to get to work at making it run again.

"He saved my life, you know," I said, not knowing if he was really listening to me or not, but I couldn't sit in silence. "The Governor was there," I explained what he probably already knew. "Merle took out a dozen men on his own. I came in and found him and just as someone was about to shoot me dead he stopped it from happening."

"Is that how he died?" Daryl's voice was a little hoarse from crying, which broke my heart just a little more.

"No. The Governor wanted him to himself. He shot me in the leg to stop me from helping Merle. Then he shot him like it was nothing." I shook my head still processing what happened. "He left me there to be killed once Merle turned. I nearly was." I looked up at Daryl and silently thanked him for showing up to save me.

Daryl held my gaze for a long time before he came back over to lift me off of the ground. "C'mon," he mumbled and brought me to the passenger seat. His coarse hands rubbed against my bare stomach, causing me to suck in a breath. I reddened and mentally kicked myself for doing it. How could I be so childish at a time like this?

Once he was in the driver seat and had the car started, I got up the courage to talk again. "I'm sorry I couldn't save him."

Daryl's swallow was audible. "Ain't nothin' ya coulda done."

I tried to blink back the fresh tears but it was no use. "That asshole was right, though. I couldn't save my brother and... I'm just sorry I couldn't save yours either."

Daryl looked at me and bit at the skin around his thumb, something I noticed was a nervous habit. "What happened to your brother?"

I could tell he was sorry he asked it almost as soon as he did. I was shocked he was even curious about my life. Usually he kept to himself. But he was hurting, and he knew I could relate to it. Anything to help him cope.

"I was with my brother through most of this shit." I swallowed hard at his memory, a momentary distraction for the pain in my leg. "Our mom was at work and we were home alone at the trailer park. We managed to get out of there when everything happened, but our mom didn't make it. She turned. And I was the one to put her down."

"M'sorry," he muttered quietly, speeding towards the prison to get me to Hershel as soon as he could.

I shook my head. "I'm not. A hoard came by when I was with my brother and he was ripped right out of my hands. I watched them tear his flesh apart. I tried to hold onto his hand... I looked into his eyes as his blood covered hand slipped right out of mine. I made sure my mom was peaceful in the end. But his death. His death was a fucking nightmare."

Daryl pursed his lips and shook his head. "That ain't your fault either."

It felt weird talking to someone about this stuff again. The only other person who knew these things about me was Merle and that all died with him.

"I tried to stay away from groups for a long time," I admitted quietly, my voice growing weaker from the blood loss. "I don't want to get close to anyone else when I know I'll just end up loosing them too." My mind must really be fucked up right now. I was only partially aware of what I was saying anymore and I can assure you I would not have told anyone that weakness of mine of mine under normal circumstances.

He scoffed. "That's bullshit. Ya can't live without people no more. We all need people to survive now. It's how it is."

"I'm sticking around until the Governor is dead. Then I'm out." It was the only option Rick had given me anyway, but I still felt a pang of guilt at only being half honest with Daryl. I'll stick around until the Governor is dead... then I'm robbing you blind. That is what I really meant.

I could see the disappointment he wore on his face at my decision. He wasn't my friend, so I didn't quite understand why he even cared that I leave. I really fucking wish I could read his mind sometimes. I suppose our relationship was sort of like his and Merle's was. We had our fights and did our damage to each other, but at the end of the day, whether we liked it or not, we couldn't keep from being drawn to each other.

He bit his lip and focused on the road as he drove. His grip on the wheel tightened and he wanted to argue with me as usual, but he didn't. "Okay. It's not my place to stop you."

"Damn straight."

"But Merle refused to believe that he needed anyone and look where it got him."

I clenched my jaw and glowered out the window, praying that we were almost there. My leg was getting worse by the second and my vision was starting to darken around the edges. I swayed in my seat a little and felt Daryl put a hand on my shoulder to steady me.

By the time we got back to the prison we had both cried our tears for Merle Dixon and helped each other get over it because we both knew that was how it had to be. The world really sucked sometimes, but you had to keep going.

I was too weak to step out of the car, but Daryl effortlessly scooped me out of the seat and cradled me in his arms. I didn't like needing help, but I was not about to complain about being pressed against him like this.

"My hero," I teased, trying my very best not to show how much my leg was actually bothering me or how my the world was spinning around me now.

"Don't make me drop your ass on the pavement," he grumbled back as he placed me onto a bed in one of the cell rooms. People we gathered around me to look at what had happened and I soon lost sight of Daryl.

I was relieved to find Hershel's somber face in the mix of everything but when he said, "I'm going to have to get the bullet out," my heart dropped down to my toes.

"Can you do it?" Someone asked.

"I can try. She is going to need medicine. We don't have a lot to spare. If someone else gets sick or injured during this war, then we won't have anything to help."

Rick was leaned against the doorway with his arms crossed. Carl was peaking in from behind him with his brow furrowed. I think I could've guessed how he wanted this to go. "Give her what she needs," Rick said. "If we need more later we can figure it out then."

The rest of their conversation went passed me without being heard. I blacked in and out of consciousness. Sweat ran down the sides of my face, coating the pillow I laid on. When they started to touch the wound on my leg I can remember screaming bloody murder. Glenn said something about the Walkers in the courtyard stacking up against the fence in one place, being drawn to my screams.

"She has to stay quiet," Rick warned and left with Glenn and Carl to take care of the fence.

A pair of strong arms held me down across the bed. I could tell it was Daryl by the way his long hair dripped sweat onto my chest every now and again. I tried my best to stay focused on him and not the pain. I reigned in on how he felt pressing me down and how he smelled like sweat and cigarettes and how he still managed to look attractive even when he looked worried as hell.

I would have liked to take more time taking in every part of him, but I thanked God when I finally passed out from it all.


End file.
